Proverbs 27:6 NLT
[6] Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
Julius Caesar was attacked by sixty conspirators in the entrance to the Roman Senate on March 15, 44 b.c. As this was happening, he saw Marcus Junius Brutus rush at him with a drawn dagger. He was shocked and in anguish cried out, ”Et tu, Brute?”—”You, too, Brutus?” Brutus, a former enemy, had been forgiven, trusted, and genuinely loved by Caesar. But he had joined the assassins, and he plunged his dagger into the dictator’s breast. While Caesar had forgiven many of his defeated opponents, he had not made genuine friends.
Harry S. Truman, the thirty-third President of the United States, had a similar problem. He said, “If you want a friend in Washington, D.C., get a dog!” While emperors and presidents face special problems in making friends, most men and women find difficulty in establishing and maintaining genuine friendships. The reason may be that friendships require time, effort, and vulnerability. Work demands a great part of a person’s time and effort, and vulnerability is seen by many men as unmanly. So men tend to settle for acquaintances and colleagues, and friendships remain undeveloped.
That this is a serious omission in a man’s life can be seen from the teaching of Proverbs:
“Wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Prov. 27:6).
The kiss of Judas in the Garden of Gethsemane was, on first appearances, a greeting and a blessing, but in fact, it was the infamous act of an unscrupulous enemy. Better to have been wounded by Peter’s flailing sword than betrayed by Judas’s deceitful kiss.
Not that a friend’s wounding has to come from a sword; it can come from being told hard truths—things we need to hear, that only those who love us enough to be more concerned about our well-being than about our good feelings and their own status as friends would be willing to tell us.
But “the heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense“ (27:9).
I have maintained friendships that are up to 30 plus years old. Without these friends to be there for me in the dark times to advise me and encourage me, I’m sure I would have made terrible decisions.
Men like Chad Willson, Joe Willis, Kip McKean, Matt Sullivan, Sam Green, Mark Collins, Michael Kirchner, Steve Droblas are friends because they weren’t afraid to tell me what I needed to hear, nor what I wanted to here. Of course, my wife, Sonja and my Mom are also on that list.
They truly loved me more than my emotions. We are all very fragile.
The Bible says we are “like jars of clay.” We are all fragile a need encouragement and loyalty. The older one gets the more you realize this.
Unpalatable counsel from a true friend is “heartfelt,” genuine, and therefore sweet. Only one who trusts and has been trusted knows the motives behind the critical evaluation and the corrective advice.
A genuine friend is of inestimable worth. So “never abandon a friend—either yours or your father’s” (27:10).
The time will come in the uncertainties of life when support, encouragement, counsel, and help are in short supply. That is the time when long-standing friendships pay off. In Washington, and elsewhere, a dog is okay—he will lick your face and bring your slippers. But only a friend will deliver what you really need.
2 Corinthians 10:12-13 NIV
[12] We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. [13] We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us, a sphere that also includes you.
Luke 6:38 NIV
[38] Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
To have good friends you need to be a good friend. Help each other get to Heaven is the ultimate goal!